Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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