He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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