my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
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So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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