Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize