THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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