my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize