I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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