I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
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the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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