I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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