Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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