i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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