I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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