Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize