Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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