I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
false alarm, still single
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize