Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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