she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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