The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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