He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
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Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
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i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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