He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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