Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
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Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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