I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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