I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize