I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize