She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize