It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
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So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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