I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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