Welp...herpes.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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