this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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