I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize