How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize