You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize