Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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