Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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