i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize