watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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