and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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