Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize