11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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