im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize