You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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