I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
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Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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