ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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