His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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