I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
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Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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