keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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