just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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