just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize