I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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