last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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