you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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